Selfishness

Although being selfish can work out at times, there are other times when one has to ask himself whether or not it is worth it to be selfish. There must be a reason there is selfishness. There is a reason for guilt. Tonight for a moment I believed selfishness could prevail. I was wrong. I thought I could win the battle. I thought I knew what I wanted. That wasn't the truth though. The truth was that I wanted something in the moment. I wanted something that I couldn't have for the best reasons ever. Someone didn't want me to regret or resent. I thank him for that and I thank him for being mature and stopping me. Selfishness can only last so long. Rationality must kick in somewhere. Without it, where would human kind be? So now I ask myself, will there ever be a time to be selfish once again if placed in the same situation as I had been tonight. My conclusion? When the situation arises once again, the circumstances will be different. I know this because I will only allow the circumstance to return upon rationality. Therefore selfishness won't be part of it. If it is right, then how could one think it selfish? Am I nervous? Of course. Do I want to be selfish? Yes. Should I be? No. Will he allow me to? No. And I'm happy about that. So now I wait. I wait for that situation and I wait for the time where the situation is different. Where I can feel at ease.